I am having a hard time right now - not sure why. I guess because we are coming closer to the 1 yr. anniversary - I know it is 3 months away - maybe because it is after February's memories. I don't know but she sure has been on my mind much more then usual - having a hard looking at baby girl clothes and thinking about upcoming Easter - which was our last holiday with her. I have a video of her and I can't bring myself to watch it.
Just feeling a little lost it seems. Seeing pictures with babies in them even sends little pains to my heart. We sang Amazing Grace on Sunday and I didn't cry - I sang the whole song and covered my heart with my hand at the end in her memory and of how I last held her. The seventh of the month passed and I couldn't bring myself to write - not that I wasn't remembering, just couldn't write about it.
When I get down for a few days, I fear I am falling backwards in the darkness - and I don't want go there again - it is a very scary place. But I think I am just afraid of it and whenever I feel down - I get worried about it.
So Gracie - just know I love you always and forever and you will always be in my heart.
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