13 months

It has been a long time since I have entered a post - not that I still don't think of her every day, because I sure do. 

Gracie would have been 13 months old today - her brother's birthday is tomorrow and he will be 4 years old.    Recently he got up from his nap and didn't know that there was a neighbor's baby sleeping at his house in another room.  When the baby woke up and started to cry - Wayne said, "we got another Gracie" - I sure wish I could know and understand what goes through his little mind.   What does he think happened to her?  We've told him the truth but what is death to a 3 year old?  He still thinks of her at the hospital and that he doesn't see her anymore.    I am amazed at how often he brings up Gracie's name or relates things to her and mentions her.

Sometimes I think it is really sad he is too young to understand and then sometimes I think ignorance is bliss - but then I wonder if he will suffer any impacts from all of this.

Katie really struggled after the holidays and she keeps trying to make it better - she is going to a counselor on Monday, but not really to talk about the loss of her daughter but to get medicine for her A.D.D.  We'll see if it helps her.  She is so afraid to talk about it and let it out - she says it is because it doesn't change anything, but the build up she has inside of her will eventually need to be let out.

I made the donation to Ronald McDonald house of Ann Arbor in Gracie's name.   They were wonderful and I am grateful it was there for us for so many reasons.  I can't imagine what people would do without a place like that. 

I have so many things going through my mind but nothing I want to write about at this time. 

As always... I love you Gracie - Always and Forevr!!