Went shopping for my grandchildren today - I always buy summer clothes for them at Easter. I couldn't help but think about last year and all the little clothes I bought for Gracie...... ones she never wore. I have a hard time going in to the girls department to buy for my other granddaughter Izabel. I buy for the 2 boys and I know I should be buying for 2 girls.
I watched 3 babies last weekend in church - I think they were all 3 months or under - I find myself looking for her in the faces of other babies... pretty silly I know, but I do - I think because I often wonder what she would be doing now or how she would look. That is really different from when an adult dies - you don't think about them getting older - but with children you do, especially when they are so young.
I wish I understood why the loss seems so raw again - maybe it is the grieving process - Your mind and body only take so much at a time, so I guess it is time for more grieving and I just need to not fight it.
So Gracie - I hope you feel my love for you this night and know you are always and forever with me - just like I promised you.
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